Husband’s carelessness

Translate from: Hidayatullah magazine, 10 edition February 2005 (page: 64-65).
There are some of husband’s carelessness that sometimes we found. These is some of them.
1. Suddenly come after leaving.
Cause a job, sometimes a husband leaving his home for a few days or even for a long time. Then the time to home arrive. Without tell his time back to his wife, he suddenly at home. This behavior does not follow the teaching of our prophet Rasulullah shallallahu alaihi wa sallam.
Jabir Radhiyallahu ‘anhu (Ra) have narrated,” we are together in a war. And when we arrive at Madinah, we want to entering our home. Rasulullah said,” wait for a while, do not enter to your house at the night until your wife get dress and beauty,’ (Tale of Muslim).
Syariah want to give an ever after love to the wife. This matter was to avoid a wife perform that could make husband has a dislike feel to his wife. For example, wife have not been dressed when she want meet her husband and that can make her beauty less and so on.
Of course on that time husbands already have miss his wife a lot cause long time no see. But his wife be in condition who are not nice to meet. It is Rasulullah’s mean that wife perform who can make her husband get unhappy feel.
So that, telling the time of the husband’s back to his wife is an important and major matter to do. This attitude showed there are connected between affection and deeply love.
2. Undressing to his wife.
Dressing is not only wife requiers , the husbands have to do it too. This is also can broke the feminism view that the teaching of islam are pressing the wife too much only because the Eve have an obligue in dressing, whereas the husband did not do the same as the wife do.
On reality a lot of husbands didn’t care about appearing, clean, and dressing habituation, except if they want to out home and go to the party. In home, husband usually get smoke and showed rumpled, beside the smell of his perspiration. So, this kind of behavior are not appreciate the wife rights. Handsome appear of the husband is a kind of wife rights as same as husband’s have right to ask for his wife to dress and adorned for him too.
Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala speak,” And the woman have the same right with her obligue in good way.” (Al-Baqarah:229). Ibnu Abbas Radhiyallahu ‘anhu (Ra) explain that clause said,” I’d really love dressing for my wife, as same as I love my wife dressing for me.’ (Interpretation Ibnu Katsir binder 1 page 238).
3. Having unjealous feel to his wife.
Jealous is the existence of the love heart. Without the jealous feel, housekeeping just like the vegetable without the salt. Jealous can growing, signed, keep care, and “up to dating” the love. But only jeoulus in the right dozis could make it nice, not more and not less.
Rasulullah said,” among other jealous feel, there are the things who have like and dislike of Allah. The jealous who Allah’s love is jealous in the confusion, and the jealous who Allah’s hate is the jealous without confusion or guess.” (Tale of Ahmad and Nasa’i).
Jealous who Allah’s love means that the jealous is in the proporsional dozis and having the should rules. But, when it has extremely out of the rules, what is more bewitch on guessing unreason, this attitude is only come from the devil’s sound.
There are some of the husbands who have bad plentiful prejudice to them wife. In the stead of them there are other husbands accidentally die of them sensitify or become invulnerable for them jealous feel for them wife. Specially for the last case, among of them indication has let their wife mixed with oher man who are not their mahram (someone’s who are not her family or her husband). And also, the wife who didn’t care of their action so that can stained their honorable and their husband and their family value. Even, there are husband that he knows about his wife fitting action (for exampel, unclosed their aurat -the part of human body who cannot look from the unmahram- in front of the public), but he –the husband- pretend don’t know about it, then his wife do not feel any sensitive.
4. Miserly to wife.
Husband’s miserly attitude showed when he usually extremely calculate on his wife expences, although there may be an important matter to his wife expences. And on that time to he is in a good money condition and having money.
The greates miserly of husband is do not care to getting a good livelihood, while he was too easy spending money for his own business with proud out to the people or for something do not urgently. For example holding a party and recreation.and when his child or his wife asking hismoney, he was extremely calculating and miserly.
Wife have a right to get a good livelihood from his husband. Livelihood in this case means as something that they can eat, drink, live, clothe, and pay for education (for the child). And of course this livelihood are agree with the husband livelihood capacity and money.
Rasulullah said,” you must to devouting in your interaction with the woman (wife) to Allah, because they are your internee that you got based on responsiblelity, and you all allowed to have sexual interact with them because of the Allah religion. They have their own rights of you for getting a livelihood as well as good.” (Tale of Muslim).
5. Careless to pray when want to have sexual interact.
It was happen because maybe the husband is careless, didn’t know, or even not care at all. This is some of the indecent, not follow the sunnah, and opening the opportunity for the devil to take position in the religion and the body when they are destiny to having childs.
Rasulullah said,” if someone want to make sexual interaction with his wife, as good if he pray before do it, like: With the name of Allah, ya Allah, keep us far from the devil and keep the devil far from our generation that you give to us. (Tale of Bukhari).
Ibnu Hajar explained,”the words of rasulullah’s that means devil do not dangerousing the child from the religion and phisichally aspect, and it doesn’t means to let disappear the disturbance that be their basic element.”
6. Taking wife’s wealth in illegal ways.
Islam admitted the right of the wife’s property. It means, the wife is haven’t any requires to using her wealth to livelihooding her family. It is different with her husband who have a responsibility to giving money or ”alive” for his family. So that, the wife have a right to her husband’s wealth. The whole of wife’s wealth become the rights of her own self, it got from her salary job or her legal heir. When the husband want to use it, so he have to take a permission from his wife